1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
4. Are you easy to get along with?
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
19. Do you like bubble baths?
20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are you bad habits?
22. Where would you like to travel?
23. Do you have trust issues?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
26. What do you do when you wake up?
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
30. Do you ever want to get married?
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
43. Do you smile at strangers?
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
46. What are you paranoid about?
47. Have you ever been high?
48. Have you ever been drunk?
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
53. Favourite makeup brand?
54. Favourite store?
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour?
57. Favourite food?
58. Last thing you ate?
59. First thing you ate this morning?
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
62. Been arrested? For what?
63. Ever been in love?
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
65. Are you hungry right now?
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
67. Facebook or Twitter?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
69. Are you watching tv right now?
70. Names of your bestfriends?
71. Craving something? What?
72. What colour are your towels?
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
75. Favourite animal?
76. What colour is your underwear?
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
80. What colour pants?
81. Favourite tv show?
82. Favourite movie?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
87. First person you talked to today?
88. Last person you talked to today?
89. Name a person you hate?
90. Name a person you love?
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
92. In a fight with someone?
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
95. Last movie you watched?
96. Favourite actress?
97. Favourite actor?
98. Do you tan a lot?
99. Have any pets?
100. How are you feeling?
101. Do you type fast?
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
103. Can you spell well?
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
108. What should you be doing?
109. Is something irritating you right now?
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
111. Do you have trust issues?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
113. What was your childhood nickname?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii?
116. Are you listening to music right now?
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
118. Do you like Chinese food?
119. Favourite book?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
121. Are you mean?
122. Is cheating ever okay?
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
125. Do you believe in true love?
126. Are you currently bored?
127. What makes you happy?
128. Would you change your name?
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
134. Can you count to one million?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
137. How tall are you?
138. Curly or Straight hair?
139. Brunette or Blonde?
140. Summer or Winter?
141. Night or Day?
142. Favourite month?
143. Are you a vegetarian?
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
145. Tea or Coffee?
146. Was today a good day?
147. Mars or Snickers?
148. What’s your favourite quote?
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via auilic)
DATE (FROM TWO DAYS BEFORE THIS ESSAY WAS DUE, DESPITE THE FACT I STARTED IT FOUR HOURS BEFORE DAWN)
AS MUCH INFORMATION AS I CAN THINK OF
TO SHOVE INTO THIS MARGIN
SO MY PAPER LOOKS LONGER LIKE
CLASS TITLE MAYBE?
ESSAY TITLE I SPENT LIKE TEN MINUTES TRYING TO SQUEEZE A PUN INTO BUT COULDN’T BECAUSE AFTER WRITING THIS I AM DEAD INSIDE
Every English Essay I Have Ever Written /// r.i.d
This is the introductory line - maybe there’s a cool fact here, a quote, the words “the dictionary defines this word as,” or a rambling, half-desperate struggle to appear relevant. Here is where I introduce my topic and the book I read, here is the author’s name I spelled wrong the first time around. Here is where I mention the characters that I remember in an attempt to seem like I actually read the book instead of skimming it. Here is where I halfheartedly try to make my thesis sound like it connects to the rest of this paragraph. Here is the thesis, which I will painstakingly rewrite in every paragraph or else the teacher will say something like “How does this paragraph relate?” even though it’s pretty obvious how that paragraph relates.
Here is me saying the first bit of the thesis statement again, maybe with a different word or two. I heard the teacher mention something about a metaphor or whatever, so I’ll just mention that. Here’s that one character I remember vaguely, and a purposefully verbose depiction of them so I can take up as much space as possible. I only opened the book like a week ago, so “here is a quote that [doesn’t] really make any sense in the context of this paragraph and is overly long so as to extend the length of this essay” (citation I probably did wrong - was that MLA or Chicago?). I will now analyze this quote incorrectly. “Here is another quote,” says that character, probably, I hope (MLA citation). As we saw in that quote, this character said that once, which proves my thesis because I said so. I couldn’t really find a third quote for this paragraph but I once got points off for missing one, so “[here]” is a “[quote]” I might have “[made] up” (APA citation). I might say something in here about that metaphor again, shit, I don’t know. Here’s the thesis, but maybe with three different words.
Transitional sentence I shambled together out of the remains of my hopes and dreams. A rambling, off-topic sentence which probably should have been deleted but it’s four in the morning and I honestly don’t care and I need those full five pages. A drastic shift in the paper where for five seconds I actually think I know what I’m talking about. Here’s a “quotation” that does actually “support” the second part of my thesis and I’m actually really surprised that it does (MLA?). Here’s my analysis of the quote in which I try to explain why that supports my thesis like explaining to a small child why the wind blows. It just does, okay, but I’m only going to be able to express this in really confused and circular speech that my teacher will probably underline and put a condescending little question mark next to. Here’s my second quote, “even though I’m not as sure about it” as the last one (MLA, definitely). Here’s my mentioning that character again, but this time I’m talking also about a second character. I secretly hope I never have to take a test on this stuff. Here’s the “third quote, which I will refuse to cut despite the fact it is again too long and probably needs to be edited for tense changes but if I do that then the teacher will think I give a shit” (APA). Here’s my thesis again but this time I’m connecting it back to the characters because I’m smart see also I have no idea what I’m doing and I want to burn my laptop and I just spent four hours on the internet putting this essay off so now my only option is to just write and pray to god that something makes sense. Concluding line.
Transitional sentence, but with a vague sense of foreboding and dread attached to it. My hands are starting to slow down. I have no idea if my thesis is even right, but here’s some kind of a “quote” that maybe happened I hope (APA, definitely). I have now grown to resent the two characters I have been talking about and I sincerely hope they both die in a fire because literally nothing interesting happens to them literally nothing interesting happened in this book whatsoever, but here’s a “quote that makes it seem like I payed attention in class when the teacher read their favorite bit aloud” (MLA). I am now pretty sure my thesis isn’t correct and that I have zero evidence to support it in any way, but it is far too late in the paper to change anything, so I’m just going to speed ahead and hope the teacher doesn’t notice. I don’t even care anymore if I fail, here’s a “quote because what the hell,” not gonna bother analyzing it because at this point seriously do I still have to explain this stuff how hard is my thesis to grasp (panicky Chicago). Here’s a conclusion, barely.
This is where I say the thesis again, because I hate the teacher at this point and I want them to suffer through reading the same stuff eighty times. Here’s where I try to make this book seem “modern” and “exciting,” when in reality if I had been allowed to read it in my own time and without having to see specific symbols that my teacher wanted, I probably would have liked it. Here’s where I talk about those symbols I just remembered at the last second. Here’s where I say something vague. Here’s how I link the conclusion to the introductory paper, if I’m brave. Here’s a rambling personal thought. Here’s where I panic about how to end this essay. With a question, maybe?